Ijeme Bare

I am a Nigerian contemporary dancer who didn’t start as early as I should have.... Now I’m learning and taking on every challenge that life throws at me....

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME(2): To quit or not to quit…

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME(2): To quit or not to quit…

A few weeks after getting my rejection letter from The School of Toronto Dance Theatre, I received a mail from the admissions officer. These people probably wanted to break my heart even more… The subject line read “Keep Dancing”...

Impostor Syndrome (1)

Whew! It has been a while, hasn’t it? I have been away because I have had to deal with some emotional and mental setbacks. All because of dance, by the way. I’m not sure if it was a necessary experience, I’m just glad that...

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (2): No safe place

Believe it or not, before contemporary dance took my heart, I was in love with ballet. I had found a safe space in the art. I ran to ballet when I was criticized for being too small or too skinny. But my first ever ballet class turned out to be the...

Body Dysmorphic Disorder(1): Why are you so different?

I grew up feeling very different from everyone. Very different from my siblings, different from the kids in my class. I always felt out of place. And I was constantly reminded of how different I was. Everyday, at some point, I heard questions like...

The Race Against Time

My break wasn’t really a break. I was still keeping myself abreast with all the new techniques. It was so frustrating. I wanted to dance so bad but I wasn’t sure I could. The pain and shame I felt from not being ‘good enough’...

The Race Against Time: Look Around, Ijay

The alarm rang. I looked up at the clock. 5:05am. Too freaking early. I roll to the other side of my bed and begin a second round of sleep. What’s the point of this alarm sef? I wasn’t motivated to train anymore. My routine, after the...

The Race Against Time: Fear and Numbness

As I struggled to get up, my body trembled. I still had no clue what had happened, I was just in fear. Fear that I had used my own hands to destroy my career before it even began, fear that it was all over. I had been on the floor for 20 minutes...

The Race Against Time: Thoughts

The alarm rings and I struggle to open my eyes. I barely reach for my phone and put it on snooze before sleep overtakes me. In less than a second, it rings again. Okay okay, I’m up. I check the time, it’s 6:05am… I grudgingly get up from my...

Checking In

‘Hey! How are you holding up?’ I’ve not said those words aloud in a while. It’s probably been a month since I saw anyone. Feels weird… A week before the official lock-down in Nigeria, I was already at home, away from...

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Ijeme Bare